peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
