Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
