I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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