So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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