with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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