i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
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You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
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I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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