miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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