chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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