RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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