I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
