There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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