Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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