It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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