I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
