It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
