Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We left an ass print on the piano.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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