I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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