We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
