hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
a search helicopter?!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
