You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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