that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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