Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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