Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
