You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
