Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
