i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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