doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
