tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize