I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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