Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
God I need to hump something, right now.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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