So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize