Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
