I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
