I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
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you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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