I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You took a bar mat shot.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
