I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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