theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
