Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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