its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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