You made me cry and you don't even care
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
