thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
