are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I AM VODKA MAN
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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