its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
