I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
