Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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