zippers are such a cool invention
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
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I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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