Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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