WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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