his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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