onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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