The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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