I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
