I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
