I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
