well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
