recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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