using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
