im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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