You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
