well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
