I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
