she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
