i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
where am i from again
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
