I didn't shave. On purpose
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
