everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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