I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
