Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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