I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
