We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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