and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I licked your asshole in confidence.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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