Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
